How Depression feels and how to cope with it?

10 min readJun 30, 2021

Humans respond to stress, loss, and adversity in a variety of ways. Almost everyone feels down from time to time. Getting a bad grade, losing a job, and having an argument can bring a feeling of sadness. Sometimes it just pops up out of the blue and there is not any trigger at all. And after some time, circumstances changes and those sad feelings disappear. We may lose our sleep, appetite, and may not be feeling like socializing and meeting people. This change in behavior is the normal human reaction to a stressful situation. As such a state of transient and goes away in a couple of days.

But if such symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks and negatively affect our social, domestic, and occupational functioning then it is no more a normal reaction. But a pathological one and may merit Clinical Depression. Depression (major depressive disorder) is a mental illness characterized by severe and a long period of sadness with several psychiatric and social factors. It lingers for several weeks, months, and even years. Depression is one of the most common and severe mental health conditions that is affecting an estimated 350 million people around the globe in all age groups.

How Depression Feels like:

One of the most common misunderstandings people have about depression is that it is all about misery and feeling blue. Sadness is only one small part of depression and even many people with depression may not feel it at all.

It can be hard to explain how depression feels like but the following are some conditions that may do justice with it:

Everything feels hopeless; depression can make people totally hopeless and they lost hope that there would be a better and good way to live a blessed life again.
Self-esteem is mainly absent; people with depression consider themselves as a failure and worthless. They always dwell on negative experiences and some wrong decisions in their life. They are unable to see positive and good qualities in themselves.
The energy level is low or even nonexistent; people with depression mostly face this awful situation where they have zero energy level, they don’t want to get out of bed. They probably feel tired and exhausted to do simple daily life tasks.
Severe anhedonia; people struggling with depression mostly feel this terrible feeling where they are no more enjoying the things and activities that once used to be their favorite hobbies. They don’t feel happy to do such chores and just feel empty.
Focus and concentration become harder; doing any activity, reading, writing, watching television, or mainly making any decision becomes so difficult. It can seem taxing for them because they can’t think clearly and focus on things.
Problematic sleeping manners; staying asleep all night or falling asleep on time is mainly difficult with depression for many people. Sleeping manners are badly affected by depression. As many people can’t sleep and others may sleep excessively and get up tired instead of fresh and energetic.
Changes in appetite; some people with depression face difficulty with eating. They don’t want to eat anything and push themselves to eat forcefully. While others may have an increase in appetite. Food may use as comfort and a coping tool for them and they crave unhealthy food most of the time.
Sense of fear; depression induces a sense of fear in many cases. People mostly get fear being rejected and mocked by family, friends, partners, and other loved ones. They also fear if they will tell them about their depression they will consider them weak and judge their character.

Causing Factors of depression:

No one exactly knows the exact causes of depression. There are several factors that are linked to its development. Some factors are discussed below:

Thinking; many thinking patterns such as overstressing the negative, taking responsibility for negative and bad events but not of good events, thinking that you know what others think about you or they think bad about you, or having inflexible rules for how one should behave can lead to the depression.
Loss of something; people experience loss in their life and it can lead them to depression. This loss can be of job, loss of loved one, loss of friendship, loss of support, etc. These losses can bring depression to people.
Sense of failure and stress; many people stake their happiness on achieving particular goals. Such as getting a particular job, earning a fixed amount of profit from the business, finding a life partner, etc. and if they fail to achieve such goals they got into bad stress and considering themselves as failures. It could obviously lead someone to depression.
Serious Medical illness; coping with serious medical illness causes stress and worry that may lead to depression. People who are dealing with long-term or chronic diseases are most likely to have depression.
Substance use; alcohol and drugs can lead someone to depression. Even if substance use can give someone temporary pleasure and make them feel better, it will surely aggravate depression.

Why do people tend not to take Depression Seriously?

Until quite recently, people had different views about mental illness and depression. Even today, much awareness of mental illness doesn’t exist. They say things like “Snap out of it” “Get it together” “It’s not that bad” and all kinds of other platitudes. If a person had any physical illness, family and friends would never suggest getting up and getting through this. They would tell you to get medical help and proper consultation.

It’s 2021, and while more people are talking about mental health than before, there is still a whole lot of people who get wrong about it. People don’t take it seriously as they never experienced such a depressive episode in their life. They manifest depression as Sadness. And if someone talks about it all they do is scolding and shaming them. Illiteracy, poor educational standards, usual old superstitious beliefs make them cruel about depression. They are unable to understand the consequences of their negligence. Educate yourselves and so do others and normalize talking about depression.

We are living in 2021, we should raise our standards and update our mindsets. Mental illness should be taken as important as physical illness. When your loved ones behave abnormally observe them carefully and understand their problems than admonishing them for any failure. Counsel them through a medical professional. Never use inappropriate words or brand them as mad. If we failed to do so, consequently we can lose our loved ones.

How to Cope with Depression:

Depression can drain someone’s energy, hope, and spirit, making it difficult to take the steps that will help you to feel better. Depression, even the most severe cases, can be treatable. If treatment can begin earlier it can be more effective. Though taking the first step is harder but starting with little steps can help a lot.

Following are some strategies to cope with depression;

Medication:

Antidepressants are mostly used to treat depression. They help us to control our moods and stress by improving the way our brain uses certain chemicals. One should try several antidepressants to find out which one improves their symptoms and have manageable Sid effects. Antidepressants usually take 2 to 4 weeks to show their effect. Mostly when symptoms start fading out people stop the medicine and as a consequence, depression returns. The medication period of depression is mostly 6 to 12 months.

There are many other herbal medicines available to treat depression. But these medicines have side effects that cannot be manageable for certain people. That’s why before taking any antidepressant proper medical consultation is necessary.

Other Productive Rituals:

Besides professional medication and consultation, there are many more other rituals one can adopt to successfully get rid of depression.

Following are some beneficial steps one should adopt:

Track triggers and symptoms; tracking the conditions and things that trigger the depressive episode is the best way to deal with depression. Once, triggers are tracked try to keep yourself away from them. You cannot heal from depression while you are in an environment that feeds the depression. Track them and make them out of your life.
Stick to a schedule; maintaining a productive and healthy routine is very effective for people with depression. Make a proper schedule for sleeping, eating, and other daily routine work. Do exercise, get more active, and seek new skills. Do a 5–9 job, something that consumes your mind, and random stuff that cut off crazy thoughts.
Nurture yourself with good nutrition; depression badly affects your appetite. Some people totally lose their appetite and other start overeating. This leads to a bad nutritional intake that affects our mood and emotions. Try to eat healthily and enough amount of food. Use more vegetables and fruits.
Improve your sleeping routine; nighttime is worst for depression. Usually, we are alone at night and that’s when all crazy and suicidal thoughts appear. That’s why try to sleep at night on time and improve your sleeping schedule. Also, don’t forget to close all tabs in your mind.
Terminate the suicidal thoughts; suicide doesn’t end the pain. It just passes to your family and loved ones. You are brave enough to fight depression. You are a warrior, don’t let these temporary problems take your precious life. Suicide is not the solution. Don’t kill yourself, but kill the suicidal thoughts instead.
Express yourself; depression can vanish outs one’s ability to talk or interact with others. They mostly don’t express themselves. Exercise your thoughts, your imagination. Do painting, sketching, doodling, sewing, drawing, writing, and all that stuff that expresses yourself. Try to share your thoughts with your loved ones.
Do a proper self-care routine; it is essential for both physical and mental health. Depression makes a person lazy and tired so that he stops paying attention to self-care. Self-care can include any activity that is for your individual’s wellbeing. Do any activity that soothes your mind, it may include a healthy diet, and mood-enhancing activity, or a soothing bath.
Start a new beginning; the phase of depression may feel like the end of the world, but actually, it is a chance for a new beginning. Sometimes the greatest changes come when your life explodes. So start a new beginning, start a new job, get married, start a new family, and build a new friend circle. It would surely help you to combat depression from your life.

How we can help others dealing with Depression?

Getting through depression is the hardest phase of one’s life. It is the time when a depressed person needs our help the most. Unfortunately, even today it is treated as a normal sadness, and as a result, the victim ended up taking their own life.

Though proper medication and consultation are mandatory for depression treatment, we should also help them and saved them from taking any wrong steps.

If you’re a survivor save others; being a person that has been through depression, you immediately pick it up when someone is going through it. You can feel their faded, empty eyes. You understand why they stay in their room all day, why they are avoiding others, why going out freaks them out. You understand how their depression is triggered when someone talks about them. That’s why, If you are a survivor, save others. Because you’ve walked the same path and know every turn and every bump.
Reach them out yourselves; the first thing depression did to a person is to Mute their ability to reach. Their cry for help is not visible. People who are struggling with depression have their lungs filled to the brim with water. They can’t reach out to say a word. If they could just go and talk then what was even the issue? They can’t voice their thoughts. Depression mutes ‘their’ ability to reach out not “Yours”. They can’t but you can.
Do not shame them; shaming people with depression for not being productive during this terrible time is very irresponsible. Depression is such a terrible mental state, people really got urges to kill themselves. So if they are still struggling with it, getting up the next day, don’t bash them to be productive and active. Don’t call them rude. People who suddenly stop talking, making plans, attending parties and events are not rude. They are just dealing with a lot in their mind. Be kind to them and don’t shame them for it.
Don’t portrait them as attention seekers; talking about mental health is not attention-seeking. People die in silence every day due to these cruel judgments. And when they are finally taking their own life people says “I wish they spoke up”. We live in a society that stigmatizes mental health but Mourns suicide.
Be there for them anytime; people with depression felt suicidal thousands of times during depression. All they need at that time is someone (family, friend, and stranger) to be there for them. You can be that person for them. If they don’t want to share anything with you, your mere presence and kind words are enough for them.

“Sometimes depression is the strongest person you know, sometimes it’s the most helpful person you know.”

Depression is a severe mental illness that can badly affect one’s activities, physical health, and has a deep impact on every aspect of life. There are several conditions causing depression. And if you are struggling with depression, you are brave. You are not weak, faulty, or unsuccessful. It’s okay if you do not feel like getting out of bed. It’s okay if you haven’t secure desired grades. You are not a loser for being unproductive. Don’t hide your depression under the mask of happiness. There is always enough sunshine of hope for everyone. You should hope everything to be okay. Hope to keep growing, learning, healing, and loving yourself.

And one day it will happen. One day you wake up and are alive again. You have got the spirit to live a productive life full of happiness. You are at the place where everything feels right. Your soul is lit, your thoughts are positive. You are at peace. You are at the place where you are headed to be, where you are supposed to be. And leaving behind the depressed, naive, unmotivated, and weaker version of yourself will be the most important and successful step towards your growth and healing.